


catching bad guys and looking good doing it

by dearhappy



Series: that's how we do it in the nine-nine [1]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Gen, Pre-Relationship, b99 au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 01:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16883178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearhappy/pseuds/dearhappy
Summary: “So, guess who was the one who solved the case and therefore gets credit for the collar,” Wally says, not bothering to hide his smugness.Dick smirks, and says, “It’s worth mentioning that Wally ran into a wall during the on foot pursuit of the suspect and got a nose bleed.”





	catching bad guys and looking good doing it

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a ridiculous piece i decided to write because i love b99 and yj, so here's a thing about the s1 team ft. bruce, billy, and jason as the nine-nine squad
> 
> okay, enjoy!

 

 

 

 

“So, guess who was the one who solved the case and therefore gets credit for the collar,” Wally says, sauntering slowly into the briefing room after Dick. His arms widening as he doesn’t bother to bite back his smug expression and looks around expectantly.

 

“Oh!” Billy says, “Was it you?”

 

“Yes, it was!” Wally’s grin brightens as he holds out a high five for Billy, who eagerly obliges, and nods as he takes in the following, mostly half-hearted, applause from their surrounding co-workers. “You know what that means I am now in the lead by not one, not two. But six!” he says, “Care to do the honors, Dick?”

 

Dick rolls his eyes as he turns on his heels to walk to the wipe board where their names are on display in the farthest corner, erases the last digit under Wally’s and corrects it. He turns around to look at Wally, smirking slightly as he caps the marker, “It’s worth mentioning that Wally ran into a wall during the on foot pursuit of the suspect and got a nose bleed.”

 

“Dude!” Wally hisses, the smug expression wiping clear off his face to be replaced with one of betrayal as the other officers laugh.

 

A throat clears, and someone asks, “Uh, sorry. But what’s going on here?”

 

That’s when Dick and Wally’s heads turn to the new comer they hadn’t noticed earlier sitting in the front row. They exchange looks before Dick turns expectantly to look at Bruce.

 

“This is Detective Artemis Crock. Our new transfer from the one-three,” Bruce explains blandly, as he gestures between the three of them. “Detective Crock, these are Detectives Grayson and West. They have a petty competition going on over who can get the most arrests.”

 

“And you... let that happen?” she asks with furrowed brows.

 

“Well. It’s childish but it keeps up team morale and helps with our arrest numbers,” Bruce replies, as if that’s the only reason he lets it happen while he’s in charge. He really could care less what happens in the precinct as long as they do their job properly while following procedures and aren’t on the take at the end of the day.

 

Dick also knows for a fact that he enjoys a good competition as much as the next guy.

 

“Right…” Crock says, squinting her eyes slightly as she looks around almost as if she’s expecting someone to jump out and say she’s being pranked.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us we were getting a replacement?” Wally asks suddenly, he’s eyeing Crock suspiciously.

 

She glares at him. But before she can even open her mouth to retort, Kaldur says, “We didn’t know we were getting a transfer until yesterday, besides we could use the extra hand.”

 

“Why? We’ve been handling the workload just fine,” Wally replies, his frown deepens as he looks about to say something more, but stops himself at the look that Bruce is giving him, face impossibly stern and telling him to stop while he’s ahead. Instead Wally swallows his reply and sinks into a seat.

 

There’s a pause, then Bruce nods stiffly, and continues, “West, after you complete the report for this case, I want you to join Batson on his current investigation.”

 

Billy perks up and leans forward towards Wally, and excitedly explains, “We got a call about a body with his hands and tongue cut off. Still waiting on an ID, but I’m thinking definite mafia ties involved.”

 

“Oh, that’s so awesome!” he replies. Bruce tilts his head but keeps his expression blank as he looks at him. Wally clears his throat as he spots Bruce’s gaze, “I mean, oh no, crime! That’s awful.”

 

A long moment of silence fills the room as Bruce stares blankly at him, before he finally clears his throat gathering his papers from the podium and shoots them all looks, “That is all. You have your assignments, now get back to work.”

  


-

  


Wally watches with a glare as the Captain and Kaldur give Crock a tour of the precinct, or more accurately Kaldur gives the tour while Bruce walks beside him quietly. Until finally they move into the Captain’s office, likely to receive her first assignment.

 

“Dude,” Dick says, he’s leaning forward over his own desk. “What’s your deal?”

 

Wally meets his gaze and narrows his eyes. “Seriously?” he asks, and Dick only raises a brow at him, so he groans. “She’s clearly here to replace Roy. Not that we even need to, there’s no reason for a new transfer.”

 

Dick’s eyes flash with understanding as he looks towards the desk that’s a few feet away from their desks, it’s filled with the belongings of the night and weekend squad’s detectives who fill it. It had been Roy’s desk before he got dragged into an undercover assignment. An assignment that was only supposed to be a month at most, but it’s been over four now.

 

“Yeah, well,” Dick says quietly, as he looks back to Wally his face carefully blank. “It doesn’t look like he’ll be back any time soon.”

 

Wally frowns and stares at the empty desk that will now be filled in by their new transfers. The thought bothers him more than it should, because it makes the fact that Roy won’t be back soon much more solid. His absence just the more permanent as it gets filled and replaced. His view of the desk is obscured by Kaldur stepping in his vision line of Artemis plopping down her things.

 

“Here’s the information on the Emerson case,” Kaldur says, holding the file out for him.

 

“Thanks, Sarge,” he mumbles as he grabs it. And when looks up at him, he sees him looking at Roy’s desk, probably overhearing what they’d been talking about moments before.

 

After a moment, he meets Wally’s gaze. “I miss him too, Wally. But he’s doing his job. You can’t be mad that they sent someone to fill in.”

 

Wally lets out a long suffering sigh at that. “I hate when you guys are being reasonable,” he grumbles as he pulls open the file that Kaldur gave him. Dick laughs at that, while Kaldur shakes his head in amusement.

 

But before any of them can reply, Jason speaks up, drawing everyone’s attention, “Woah, what the hell happened to you?”

 

They turn to look towards the elevators where Conner is entering the bullpen, looking like hell warmed over, his face bruised and there’s a clear rip in the sleeve of his jacket. He shrugs, and says, “I was lightly stabbed.”

 

“I’m sorry, did you say you were _stabbed?”_ Megan asks incredulously, as she stands from her desk. Kaldur beats her in closing distance though as he looks over Conner at arm’s length.

 

“ _Lightly_ stabbed,” Conner corrects, as he steps back, shaking off Kaldur.

 

Megan frowns, “Did you get it checked out? Should you even be here now?”

 

“You should’ve called for back-up,” Kaldur adds.

 

“I was lightly stabbed, I’m fine now,” Conner insists, trying to gently wave off any concerns as he adjusts his jacket to cover the area he’d been stabbed. “I didn’t want to worry you, I handled it.”

 

“By getting stabbed,” Dick deadpans as he stares at Conner.

 

“It sounds bad, but it’s really not,” Conner replies as he tries to step around Kaldur and Megan to go to his desk. “I arrested the guy anyways. So, it’s fine.”

 

“That doesn’t change the fact that you were _stabbed,”_ Kaldur says sternly, stepping in Conner's way. “You need to get it checked out. I’m not letting you do any work until you see an actual doctor.”

 

Conner groans as he narrows his eyes at Kaldur, and says, “Seriously, it’s nothing. I’ve been stabbed so many times before without seeing a doctor after.”

 

“Dude,” Wally interrupts, as Kaldur looks seconds away from having an aneurysm. “That’s really not helping your case. You should really start going to see a doctor.”

 

Conner shrugs nonchalantly, opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by the Captain’s office door opening. Bruce steps out, staring at them with a frown, “Why are you all standing around? You should be working.”

 

“I’m trying to, Captain,” Conner says, “But Sarge won’t let me.”

 

“Because you were stabbed and need to see a doctor!”

 

Bruce blinks slowly as he stares at Conner, he lets out a low huff of breath that might as well be a long suffering sigh from the Captain. He shakes his head, “Kent, go see a medic.”

 

Conner opens his mouth, likely to insist it’s fine again, but Bruce cuts him off his a stern look.

 

“That’s not a suggestion, Kent,” he says. Conner huffs and turns back towards the elevators, Bruce lets out another sigh, “Sergeant Hyde, go with him and make sure he actually does.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Kaldur nods as he grabs his jacket of his seat and trails after Conner.

 

Bruce watches them get into the elevator as the doors open, and then turns to the others who are all watching the doors. “The rest of you,” he says, “Get back to work, you don't get paid to just sit around and gossip.”

 

He disappears back into his office following a chorus of ‘yes, sirs’.

  


 

-

  


 

They're in the bar after work like they usually were on Friday nights, Wally cut off his story that he was excitedly telling to let out a stifled groan as he saw Artemis walk into the bar. He was elbowed by Kaldur who sent him a stern look.

 

“Who told her?” Wally hisses to the group that crowded into the usual corner booth.

 

It’s the one furthest in the back that they always end up in. Jason and Billy taking up one side of the booth while Dick, Wally, and Kaldur sit on the other. They pulled one of the tables with chairs for Megan and Conner. It’s then that he realizes that there’s a third chair and he really should’ve known.

 

“I invited her,” Megan says brightly, waving her over with a smile. She turned back to look at Wally’s annoyed look. “Wally, be nice. She’s part of the team now.”

 

Dick snorted as he took a drink of his beer. “He’s barely civil with us,” he mutters.

 

“Dude,” Wally glares at him as he lets out a huff, “I can be civil.”

 

Dick only grins, before he looks over Wally’s shoulder and nods, “Hey.”

 

Artemis nods back as she puts down her glass and sits beside Megan. “You guys hang out here a lot?” she asks, as she casually glances around the bar that’s filled with other cops who work in the precinct and regularly hang out here, along with very few regulars who aren’t on the force.

 

Kaldur nods with a smile as he follows her gaze. “Yeah, it’s our usual hang out,” he says. “Owner’s a retired cop.”

 

“So, Artemis,” Megan says, sitting up as she smiles her usual friendly smile. “Tell us about yourself, what’s your family like?”

 

“I… have one,” Artemis says slowly.

 

“Seriously?” Wally asks, frowning at the lack of response.

 

“Yeah. That’s way too personal,” Dick says, fiddling with the label on his bottle. “No one needs to know that she has a family.”

 

“Just because you refuse to tell us anything about _your_ personal life and family, doesn’t mean everyone else should,” Megan replies.

 

Jason snorts as he watches from his corner in amusement.

 

Dick sends him a sharp look that’s gone as quickly as it arrived, before saying to the group, “You guys already know way too much about me.”

 

“I’m your best friend. I’ve known you for _years_ and I literally only know like six things about you,” Wally argues as he snaps out of his mopey mood to send Dick an assessing look. “And one of them is that you were raised in the circus.”

 

Artemis laughs loudly at that, but is met with strange looks. “Oh,” she says, blinking as she looks at their faces. “Oh. You… you were serious.”

 

“Hey. The circus is a very serious business,” Jason states, nodding his head solemnly. And nobody would know he were making fun of Dick if it weren’t for the look that Dick sends him. He grins innocently as he takes a drink.

 

“Another thing I know for a fact is that you’ve known Jason even longer than you’ve known me,” Wally says and he leans forward, narrowing his eyes at Jason slightly. “You met… while you visited the circus as a kid?”

 

Dick snorts, and Jason gives him a bemused look. “Wrong again, West,” he says.

 

Wally groans and looks at Billy who’s watching everything with an amused smile. “Do you know? I feel like you know, Billy, come on, kid. My pal, my dude, my buddy. My favorite-”

 

“Nope,” Conner interrupts as he stares down at his empty drink. He gets up abruptly, “I’m going to the bar, where I can hear you less.”

 

“We don’t know much about Jason’s personal life either,” Kaldur explains to Artemis, who’s quietly observing the group.

 

“Not that we need to know about your personal life,” Wally quickly adds, offering an uneasy grin in his direction. “It’s your choice.”

 

Dick makes a face as he looks at the others, “But you have to know about mine?”

 

“You know everything about the rest of us,” Megan replies. “It only seems fair. Besides we learned long ago that you’re intimidating lone wolf thing is a front. Mostly.”  


“Exactly. While Jason... Jason’s still scary intimidating to us,” Wally says, eyes darting to Jason who only smiles at him in a way that makes Wally to uncomfortably shift slightly. “He’s allowed to not tell us stuff.”

 

“Also, he’s always carrying concealed weapons,” Billy adds. Then quickly looks up at the others and widens his eyes, gaze darting around as he nervously laughs, “I mean, he totally has legal documents for any and all weapons he may or may not have and carry. But most definitely does _not_ have. He has none at all.”

 

 " _He what?”_ Kaldur asks. 

 

“Whaaaat? I... Oh, I think I’m getting a text message,” Billy says, reaching to take his phone out. “Beep,” he says, pointing at it’s dark screen. “Look there it is, I should… take this. It might be important. Bye.” He gets out of the booth quickly and heads away from the table.

 

“So, uh, not all of us knew Jason carried knives around?” Wally asks, looking around at the table. Kaldur gives him the shocked look that he’d been giving Billy. He shrugs, offering a sheepish smile, “Oops?”

 

“You’re supposed to report this kind of stuff,” Kaldur counters with a frown. “He’s a civilian.”

 

Wally makes a face and shrugs, “I mean… He stopped one of our perps from running. I thought it was like, fine to let it slide,” he shrugs. “Cap was there and he didn’t seem to mind.”

 

“Why do you have weapons?” Megan asks.

 

Jason rolls his eyes as he taps his fingers lazily against the table. “It’s _Gotham,_ everyone’s carrying something to protect themselves,” he replies, “Because cops are the worst.”

 

Kaldur makes an offended noise at that remark, but doesn’t open his mouth to reply to it.

 

“Besides, you can’t arrest me for it without good reason. My dad’s on the force, he made sure I knew my rights a long time ago,” Jason says.

 

Dick looks taken back for a moment, then goes back to narrowing his eyes at Jason, who meets his gaze unflinchingly.

 

“Wait,” Artemis says, “Your dad’s a cop?”

 

Conner finally comes back with a bottle and a few glasses that he sets on the table in front of himself, and asks, “Oh. Did Dick finally admit personal information?”

 

“Jason did,” Megan clarifies.

 

“Do we know your dad?” Kaldur asks looking at Jason, watching his amused expression. “This is so weird. You always talk about how you hate cops but your dad is one!”

 

“I can have a cop for a dad and still hate them. I mean, I do have common sense and work for the department. I know and see things,” Jason explains, he leans over to grab the bottle that Conner brought and pours some into his empty glass. “Anyways, he talks shit all the time about how corrupt the system is. Not that I didn’t already know.”

 

Megan asks, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

 

“If you don’t know that the system you’re working for is beyond corrupt already, then there’s no helping you.”

 

Conner rolls his eyes, “She meant about your dad.”

 

“Well,” Jason starts as he leans back in his seat, nursing his drink, “The reason I didn’t tell you guys is because I don’t value you as people, so it’s like... why be honest?”

 

“Oh. That’s...” Megan says slowly, “Hurtful.”

  
  
“Except Billy. I value him as a person.”

 

“That’s fair, I-” Wally starts to say.

 

“And I guess Bruce too.”

 

“Oh. Okay-”

 

“But that’s it. The rest of you? I couldn’t care less about, honestly,” he continues, as if none of them had tried to speak. “I don’t value any of you as people at all. I would sell you out in less than a second given the chance.”

 

“We get it,” Kaldur says.

 

“Also, if you don’t know who my dad is, that’s on you for being horrible Detectives,” Jason says while moving to get out of the booth. “Well. I’m leaving now,” he says as he swipes the bottle and walks away, ignoring Conner’s protests.

 

“What does that mean?” Wally asks nobody in particular as he frowns, before he looks at Dick, “Is he lying? I can never tell when he’s just messing with us. You know, don’t you?”

 

“Beep,” Dick says, “I think I have a text message, I should take that.”

 

Wally gives him an unimpressed look. Dick simply cracks a grin, then adds, “Yeah. And he’s right, if you were better detectives you’d already know too.”

 

Wally lets out a frustrated groan, throwing his back against the booth while Dick watches with an amused smile. “What is there to detect?!” he huffs out, sending a side-eyed look to Dick. “He’s even worse than you about personal details.”

 

“Anyways,” Artemis says as she slides into the vacated side of the booth. “Not that this isn’t a riveting conversation. What’s the deal between you two?”

 

Wally’s annoyed gaze turns on her now, as he seems to remember that she’s here and he has a problem with her. He rolls his eyes and nudges Kaldur to let him out without saying a word just sending a glare her way.

 

“What do you mean?” Dick asks, cutting off Artemis before she says something about it.

 

“The whole competition thing, or whatever.”

 

Dick laughs, “Oh, we just have this bet going on to see who’s the better detective. Whoever gets the most felony arrests within a year wins.”

 

Artemis’ frown disappears as she looks at him in consideration.

 

“There’s a betting pool going on,” Conner adds as he nurses what’s left of his drink. “If you want in, talk to Jason.”

 

She hums, nodding as she contemplates it. Tilting her head, she says, “Alright. I’ll bite, what’s at stake?”

 

“If Wally wins, he gets Dick’s car,” Kaldur explains, at Artemis’ raised brow he continues, “It’s this really amazing Porsche, Wally calls it pretentious but we all know he wishes he had it.”

 

“How did you afford that?” she asks.

 

“Family heirloom,” Dick says. She stares at him expectantly but he doesn’t elaborate any further.

 

“And if Dick wins,” Megan adds in, “Wally has to go on a date with him.”

 

Artemis’ brows shoot up, as she looks at Dick, “A date?”

 

“The Worst Date in the history of the world,” Dick clarifies, smirking just the slightest. “I already have the whole thing planned out and know exactly how I’m going to embarrass him.”

 

“A date,” Artemis repeats. There’s a pause as they hum in agreement. “What? Why would you agree to that?”

 

Dick shrugs slightly, leaning back in his seat, “I get to embarrass him. I don’t know, the details of our bet were decided last minute. Following a stupid comment about how I have the ‘worst track record with dates despite my awesome car’.”

 

“That still makes absolutely no sense,” Artemis says, shaking her head. “It just seems like you’re getting the short end of the stick.”

 

 

 


End file.
